Study day

I've been studying for the past 2 days.  Actually, I went to the bar for a second last night with some people to talk logistics about school events that we have to plan.  Anyway, I'm studying at the moment, aside from writing this entry.  I have my neurology shelf tomorrow and I'm feeling okay about it.  I took a practice test that is sold and administered by the same company that makes the test that I'll be taking tomorrow and I did fairly well on it.  Well enough to pass anyway.

In any case, I feel like I've come some ways with dealing with exams.  During the first year of medical school, I freaked out whenever there was an exam.  In second year, I was just tired and feeling ragged inside from having exams every 2 weeks or sometimes weekly (because failure is not an option).  But this year, things are different.  I'm calm about my exam preparation.  I still cram, because I still believe it helps to a certain extent, but I'm better at preparing earlier on for the exam too now.  In fact, I kind of enjoy the day before the exam because it means that I have control of what I can do with my day.  Being at the hospital is different in that your time is not your own.  It's your resident's, it's your attendings, it's pretty much anyone's time except yours.

But I digress and complain.  In the 3rd and 4th year of medical school, students are expected to fulfill their duties at the hospital each day and go home and study more for the next day and also for upcoming exams.  And so we're somewhat forced to study every day.  Except that's a horrible way to think about it.  We shouldn't be forced to learn each day.  We should set out on our own to study and to become experts in what we've committed our lives to.  I think this applies to all people.  Even those that feel hopeless and directionless - to learn something new each day that interests us, or may be of use to us some day is a valuable and productive thing to do.  For our sanity's sake.  For our future generation's sake.  For yourself.